Honesty

"Elä miten ajattelet, on se elämäsi anti"
- Avain

We should live this way, just building up our day

So i managed to get everything done on time and the tracks turned out to sound pretty decent despite that some of them seemed impossible to fix at start. I also managed to sort flight tickets for the emperor of Japan so he can get home after his visit here.

When i was done i hopped into the car and we went for a small evening drive with Jonna. I really like to just cruise around for fun, even more when it rains. We drove around the northern parts of Kirkkonummi, stopped by a really pretty old church and then went southwards back to the bigger roads.

Now is forever

What is that?

So the summer holidays are getting closer and closer. Only the last week left.

Because of that some genious decided that grades cannot be written down on paper or filled in on tickboxes on paper i am now late with the grading. You see, we have this system where we have to log in on the internet in order to give our grades in all secrecy so that other teachers wont be able to see how we grade students in other classes than our own. Its downright stupid. All it communicates is a feeling of very unprofessional suscpicion towards the teachers as a profession, not to mention that the whole idea of secrecy is just hypocritical seeing that the service provider most probably can access all the data anyway. And thats just one of the problems, the second is that it doesn't even work. There is always students missing, put into wrong groups or subjects or whole subjects gone totally lost. And the result is frustration. All this, just because someone thought it would look good to say that we can give grades in secrecy and that we use a top-notch system. What a truckload of crap!

Oh, and yeah, then it wont accept my login or password. It seems to be totally random as to when it allows someone to enter despite all login information being correct.

On another note i've enjoyed a great weekend with terrific food by the best cook in the world. The support of someone dear is really all you need when your time seems to run towards a crashcourse with itself.

Now to continue with the musical-play mastering project. Deadline, today.

Fight fire with fire

So fire practice today. Whoopie.

After a daring escape down the fire ladders i got to fight a burning barrel with a fire extinghuisher. I charge the barrel while the whole school was cheering me on. And ofcourse i knock the whole barrel over with the blast from the extiguisher. Well, it was efficient as the blast also killed the flames but perhaps it wasn't what i was supposed to do. Anyhow, everyone thought it was just great and the cheering went on. Maybe theres a firefighter in me too.

On another note im trying out two new things in class. Music and drawings to develop thinking in terms of aesthetics and then drama pedagogy. Both projects seem to be pretty fruitful and has got me thinking whether there isn't something that we could start improving in the schools to make them more flexible and fitting for the kids of today.

After all, the school exists for the children, not the other way around.

Apparently, this is me.

The greatest story

Once upon a time
there was a boy who
liked to look at whales.

- A firstgrader, three years ago.

Work IS life!

Whoop...

So here i sit trying to figure how to split my time between correcting tests, making tests, giving students their end of year grades, keeping my economy in schedule, mastering songs from a musical play that another local school made, preparing for summer camps and trying to sneak in some slacking. I guess if i just tried to do a bit more and try to think a bit less...

The shittiest thing is that since i've been swapping bank my money is on an account that i don't have a card to (and the card i have to another account i've lost the code to). Not that it would be any real problem since people have always been able to trade in cash, but with the banks always closing at half past four and me having a silly amount of things to do i have not been able to get to a bank to lift any cash. Not a real problem as long as there is food in the fridge and gas in the car. Yupp. But when the car runs out of gas you have a problem. Thankfully mothers are among the most powerful and greatest beings on earth and so mine darted to save me by buying me more gas, and a pair of shoes (don't i sound poor) too.

I try to look at the nice things in the close future. The week after this one will feel surely feel as if vacations already started and that will be nicely rounded off with a cruise to Stockholm with our drama club. Im looking forward to that a lot since that means spending time with great friends and with my girl. She actually has had pretty much similarly shitty week as mine with tests and all. But i guess sharing troubles halves troubles. Still, despite phones and internet, I do miss her.

Lets take a walk...

We've walked a great distance, we've learned a lot, and we will keep on learning, together. I do not have words and so i borrow them from one of the greatest authors that has ever lived.

On ne voit bien qu'avec le cœur.
L'essentiel est invisible pour les yeux.
- Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

"You are beautiful, but you are empty," he went on. "One could not die for you. To be sure, an ordinary passerby would think that my rose looked just like you--the rose that belongs to me. But in herself alone she is more important than all the hundreds of you other roses: because it is she that I have watered; because it is she that I have put under the glass globe; because it is she that I have sheltered behind the screen; because it is for her that I have killed the caterpillars (except the two or three that we saved to become butterflies); because it is she that I have listened to, when she grumbled, or boasted, or ever sometimes when she said nothing. Because she is my rose.

And he went back to meet the fox.

"Goodbye," he said.

"Goodbye," said the fox. "And now here is my secret, a very simple secret: It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye."

"What is essential is invisible to the eye," the little prince repeated, so that he would be sure to remember.

"It is the time you have wasted for your rose that makes your rose so important."

"It is the time I have wasted for my rose--" said the little prince, so that he would be sure to remember.

"Men have forgotten this truth," said the fox. "But you must not forget it. You become responsible, forever, for what you have tamed. You are responsible for your rose . . ."

"I am responsible for my rose," the little prince repeated, so that he would be sure to remember.

- Excerpt from The Little Prince -

Productivity goes up to 11

"I hope no one thinks that all of us are your kids."

Is what one of my students said while i was standing in the middle of a store/foodcourt with 40 kids running around and all over the place. I couldn't help but to start laughing like a stupid.

Anna puiden puhua läpi, sanoa sanasi.

I've always found rainy days calming. They make me feel like things are far clearer and simpler than they otherwise might seem. They make me feel the world in a way that feels right. On a rainy day its easier to talk and its easier to listen. Rain is good for those days when difficult things just have to be said. Its good for those days when you really have to stop and look around to see where you stand.

The course today was great. The teacher told me that he believes that i will get to the interviews and that after that it should be no problem for me. I wish i could believe in the first part so strongly too, and i guess i will try, but the words meant far more than just that. Talking to classmates also made me feel better about the whole deal, seems i wasn't alone being afraid of some mistakes i made in the test.

I also talked to my brother today again. Im proud of his work, his work in a place that was shaken down to ground and where people still fight to rebuild what is possible to rebuild. They became living legends, those stupid foreigners.

Beat of today:
Huojuvat puut

YA-HA!

So a great weekend got a great end!

As the old Finnish saying goes: Victory doesn't matter, what matters is that Sweden loses. This time we didn't have a choice so of course it could not end any other way. With 6-1 it wasn't a battle, it was a F'in massacre!

This is the year of the Lion!

PS. Thank You

But look at the boy who went out in the world to save our planet

Something unique. Is what this years Eurovisions were for Finland. For once we had a good song and did fairly decent and i really think its a pity we didn't do better than that. Of course i had a little extra support for our contestant due to him being from the area and a sibling of a friend but still i personally found that the song definitely belonged in the top 5. I actually feel a bit silly for the fact that a good while back when he promised over facebook that in case he would get into the Eurovisions he would promise that he would sing something that doesn't sell on skin, love theme or huge pyro effects, and i of course thought that it would never work. Well, he proved me wrong. And that is just great.

On another note, Azerbaijan, ins't that supposed to lie in Asia? I mean, the song wasn't bad, actually it was great and im really glad they won, but still its a bit silly if the contest is supposed to be European. Same goes for Israel.

Anycase. It was fun even though we had to watch the show over a livefeed instead of TV, which in turn meant that we had to move sofas and tables and the apartment looked like a mess. The food and the rest of the night made up for that trouble though.

Congratulations Axel, you did well.

Chica Bomb

So that was the exams then. I guess it went sort of ok, i did better than i expected in many areas but the test in general was more difficult than i thought it would be. I guess ill see the results in a while.

My head was toasted after the test and i decided to skip the rest of the things i had scheduled for the day and instead spontaneously thought i could toss Jonna home from her train station as she would have had to wait for half an hour to get a buss and i was anyway driving remotely in the direction.

After a little chitchat and taking it easy in the sun at the backyard they invited me to stay over for dinner with grilled food. And what food it was. Iv never really liked eating mushrooms but the mushrooms Jonnas dad cooked up on the grill were a total bomb. Her sister also happened to be visiting, she seemed like a terrific person, and so we all celebrated their dads birthday together with cheesecake as dessert.

All in all a fairly spontaneous but great day. :D

Oh and not to mention the fact that i woke up to the walls and floors shaking and watching sawdust fall down like snow outside my window.

Primavera

So today for the teachers meeting i suggested if we couldn't find something to use as a table so we could have the meeting outside, the weather being perfect and all. Turned out we have a huge amount of old tables, desks and chairs that will anyway get tossed away and so we decided to place them outdoors so that we can sit and have our breaks out there as well as hold classes outdoors whenever we feel like doing so.

Holding classes outdoors is actually a very favorite practice of mine. I realized that despite its a bit more challenging to act in the traditional role of informant and coordinator of the students work the productivity, what comes to working alone or listening to me, has gone up greatly.

I also discussed some personal matters of the past week or so with a colleague. Im fortunate to have such great people to work together with. Not to mention the fact that they have not been afraid to show their belief in my ability despite my lack of a degree. These people are more than colleagues, these people are friends also.

What i discussed with my colleague was something that has happened lately. To put it shortly it has been a stand i had to take. A stand i had to take on behalf of my loved one. It was not a difficult decision but the process has not been simple. It seems reason won at the end and yesterday night i was reminded of how important it is to believe in peoples ability to take responsibility and to be reasonable in the long run. Sometimes you just have to demand this responsibility and reason with force. I'm not always proud of the way i act, but the things i value, and that i hold onto, i hold onto with pride and determination, and sometimes the end just has to justify the means when there is no other way.

Thinking of responsibilities takes me to my brother again. He is fighting his battle in Iwanuma. The battle he fights might be very different from mine but i take pride in the knowledge that his decision to take to the fight has risen from the same kind of beliefs as mine. I say this again, GANBATTE!

Tomorrow i will continue another fight, the first round, the text based exam is then. I will do my best i promise to y'all. When that is done, i will rest for a bit, and what better than to rest in the care of the best of girls, who also happens to be the best of cooks.