You'll find yourself alone.

So i sat down in the first row, swallowed my pride, and started to listen.

I finally decided that i will work my ass off, if that is what it takes, to be able to do what i want in life. This time i wont go around failing and blaming that i was lazy, just can't bear studying or generally find school uninteresting. This time i will do my best. This week has taught me that it is worth it, as a matter of fact it is worth it no matter the outcome.

Yesterday was an opening seminar for the one month intensive course i am taking. Three to four hours an evening, three times a week on top of self studying and my work ain't no easy bit. But i was told by this guy that it wont be easy. Usually i don't trust people who try forcing their ideas on me but this time was different. Because this man, he said he wanted to awaken a curiosity in all of us, towards studying, the same kind of studying, according to his words, that a bored child playing in slosh possesses when he sees that yellow lump of snow and he thinks what it might taste like. Yes, this man, he /eated_yellow_snow and then dares to admit it in front of a hundred people. That is something i tells ya.

Of course there are things that will suffer, things that i would not like to have suffering because of me. However, i believe and trust that this will be worth it, come what may. To those who have to bear with me, i apologize.

Today, the first lesson, seemed pretty good. Far better than i had expected to be honest and i am really looking forward to seeing how i will develop. I didn't give a damn about the fact that i was the only one in the group who didn't yet have the articles we're supposed to read and that some of my questions probably sounded idiotic to the others. I still sat in the front row and raised my hand and said what i thought even if it from time to time went totally amiss. The mistakes didn't matter because i came to realize that equally many times i found the mark far better than the others did. Victory to those who dare.

So i decided to make a promise. This promise goes to my friends, my coworkers, my boss, to my students and their parents, my parents, my grandparents, my sisters, my brother and to my Love. But most of all this promise i make to myself.

I promise to do my best.